Filmjitsu! The Podcast that wields films as deadly weapons

This week, Jay takes on M. Night Shyamalan’s Trap (2024), starring Josh Hartnett as a devoted dad, a serial killer and a man who picked a truly terrible night to take his daughter to a concert. Mike assigned this one after suffering through it in theaters, but did Jay hate it too? Or was this the rare act of cinematic revenge that somehow turned into a gift? Given Jay's love for the work of M. Night Shyamalan, the chances for the latter are high! After the review, the guys count down their Bottom Five Traps: schemes and setups that fail spectacularly, succeed in spite of themselves or are just plain stupid. Then they say goodbye to a true legend of stage and screen with a round of Kick Two, Pick Two celebrating four iconic Tim Curry performances. Finally, Jay springs one last trap on Mike: his next cinematic torture assignment for the following episode.

Jay sends Mike hurtling through an interdimensional portal and into the loincloth-garbed wasteland of Gor, an ’80s Cannon Films sword-and-sorcery “epic” about a nebbish professor transported to another world where he discovers he’s aces with a sword. With Oliver Reed chewing scenery, and enough sand, leather and exposed flesh to make Conan blush, Mike tries to determine whether Gor is the gloriously entertaining disaster its reputation suggests or simply a very long walk through the desert. After the review, the guys go big with their Bottom Five Epics before taking a moment to say goodbye to Phantasm icon and cinema’s most rogue ice cream man, Reggie Bannister. Then it’s back to battle for another round of Dueling Double Bills before Mike reveals the next cinematic punishment awaiting Jay. On the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, sometimes the real fantasy is believing the movie might eventually get better.

Ice Cube once rapped “F*** tha Police,” but in 2025’s War of the Worlds, he has apparently decided the real problem is that the government isn’t watching people closely enough. Jay logs into this extremely online adaptation of H.G. Wells’ classic and tries to determine whether its screenlife presentation, anti-surveillance message and handful of genuinely clever science-fiction ideas can survive a screenplay that asks one family, an Amazon delivery drone and a remotely operated Tesla to save the entire planet.After the review, the guys turn their attention to the Bottom Five Product Placements, celebrating the moments when movies stop pretending to tell stories and begin openly begging us to buy cigarettes, soda, toys, electronics and whatever else happened to help pay the production bills. Then Jay and Mike enter the cinematic battleground for another round of Dueling Double Bills before Jay reveals the punishment awaiting Mike for making him spend 90 minutes watching Ice Cube yell at a computer screen. On the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, revenge, like an Amazon Prime order carrying a flash drive capable of saving humanity, is already on its way.

It's time once again for Filmjitsu's most inexplicable annual tradition: The Streepening. For reasons that have long since been lost to history (and likely were never sensible to begin with), Jay again hands Mike a Meryl Streep movie proving that no matter how acclaimed the actress may be, there always seems to be another questionable stop on her journey to becoming a generational talent. This year's selection? Wes Craven's Music of the Heart.Yes, that Wes Craven. The mastermind behind A Nightmare on Elm Street and Scream traded slashers for string sections in this fact-based drama about a determined violin teacher trying to save a music program in East Harlem. Was this an unexpected hidden gem from one of horror's greatest directors, or merely a detour better left unexplored? Mike tunes his instrument and finds out. After the review, the guys count down their Bottom Five Musicians, celebrating those cinematic performances that hit every wrong note for reasons ranging from questionable casting to spectacularly misguided vanity projects. Then it's onto another round of Dueling Double Bills, where cinematic connections fly faster than violin bows, before Jay closes out the show by revealing Mike's next assignment.Will The Streepening ever end? History suggests that on the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons... probably not.

As it's the middle of summer, Mike, in his infinite wisdom, assigned Jay yet another winter-themed movie! Following his Hot Frosty antics, he uncorked Hot Dog... The Movie, a 1984 skis-and-skin "comedy" about a ragtag group of elite U.S. freestyle skiers going up against uptight Germans in some kind of world-class competition that apparently attracts the horniest people alive. Why Mike is obsessed with "hot" movies set in cold climates is beyond anyone's understanding, but the damage has been done, and Jay wades through snow boots and boobs to reveal whether he found this movie cool enough to turn off the AC this summer or if it just made the humidity that much more unbearable. After his review, the guys dig into their Bottom Five Clichés, unearthing a treasure trove of tropes so annoying they'd prefer never to see them in another movie while knowing full well they'll encounter them again the next time they hit play. Following that, they play another exciting round of cinematic mash-ups with Dueling Double Bills before Jay reveals what's in store for Mike on the next episode. Spoiler alert: it won't be another slice of cold cinema. As far as Jay is concerned, summer is the perfect time to serve up some scorching cinematic payback on Filmjitsu, the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons.