Hate Watching with Dan and Tony

• Hate Watching Land of the Lost: Big Brain T-Rex, Tiny Plot

  Send us a textDinosaurs, portals, and a chorus line of pterodactyls should be a slam dunk. We dove into Land of the Lost to figure out why a movie with so many toys keeps losing the game—and how a few smart changes could have turned chaos into comedy that sticks. We start with the core misfire: Will Ferrell is asked to play a straight-man scientist and a clueless clown at the same time, which erases any clean arc and drains the stakes from every set piece. Absurd can be brilliant when the rules are tight; here, the rules shift whenever a gag needs help. One scene uses a waterfall as a portal, another opens a door in midair, and the “land of lost things” includes stuff that was never lost. Without consistent logic, action stops dead so jokes can breathe, and then the jokes run out of air.There are bright spots. Danny McBride keeps landing sly, character-driven lines because his POV is clear: selfish bluster that occasionally flips into loyal friend. The sleestaks’ intentionally rubbery vibe nods to the original show in a way we liked, and a handful of bits nearly work: the “big brain” T‑Rex who understands insults, the nitrogen catapult that wants to homage Jaws, and the fake-sleep dodge before a dangerous egg run. The problem is follow-through. Setups don’t pay off, tension stalls for monologues, and the movie undercuts its own best ideas. Imagine a version where Ferrell’s scientist maps portal patterns to get home, the T‑Rex feud resolves with a comedic apology instead of a digestive punchline, and Holly’s language skill consistently solves crystal puzzles rather than a lucky belt-reflection trick.We don’t just roast; we rebuild. Give the world three simple rules, lock each character’s goal, and let the bits escalate instead of pause. The result is a fun, rule-bound playground where McBride’s chaos sharpens Ferrell’s growth and the creature gags actually matter. If you’re into comedy craft, story structure, and the joy of almost-great ideas, you’ll have a blast with this one. Hit play, then tell us your favorite broken setup—and how you’d fix it. And if you’re new here, subscribe, drop a review, and share this with a friend who loves a good movie autopsy.Written lovingly by AIBe our friend!Dan: @shakybaconTony: @tonydczechAnd follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT

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• Hate Watching Little Evil: Little Evil, Big Opinions

  Send us a textWhat happens when a sharp horror-comedy premise gets tripped up by soggy jokes and TV-flat reactions? We dig into Little Evil with a filmmaker’s eye and a comic’s ear, mapping the moments that could have soared if the setups, POV, and character logic actually aligned. From the tornado wedding and the defensive videographer to the CPS visit with Sally Field and the clown-on-fire gag, we point to where the movie almost clicks—and how a few simple escalations could have turned “heh” into real laughs.We talk casting and cadence—why Adam Scott feels stuck between unaffected snark and sincere guardian, and why Evangeline Lilly’s character needs true naivete or sharper subversion to sell the cult backstory. We break down the stepdad circle, the missing runners, and the squandered improv energy, highlighting the rare lines that do land because they come from a clear scene location and status game. Then we tackle the water park turn: why comedy needs agency over skywriting, how competing “signs” would heighten indecision into a great gag, and why the story works best once the promise to protect the kid becomes the emotional north star.The finale shows the movie that could have been: a tighter cult showdown, a sincere bond, and a couple of truly funny beats when everyone finally knows where they are in the scene. Along the way, we offer craft fixes—repetition, heightening, physical business that breathes, and jokes that emerge from character instead of references. We wrap with quick recs: the baffling IT prequel pilot, dirt-under-the-nails seventies thriller When a Stranger Calls, and the confidently directed Weapons. Hit play, debate with us, and tell us your rewrite for the water park scene. If you had one change to make Little Evil sing, what would it be? Subscribe, drop a comment, and share your best punch-up.Written Lovingly by AIBe our friend!Dan: @shakybaconTony: @tonydczechAnd follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT

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• Hate Watching Werewolves: Don't Forget Your Moonscreen

  Send us a textA supermoon turns the world wild, Frank Grillo grabs a shotgun, and we grab our notes. We break down Werewolves with the kind of scene-by-scene nitpicks and love for schlock that only come from watching too many creature features at 2 a.m. The premise is killer—moonlight triggers global transformations—but the movie keeps stepping on its own paws with lens-flare-heavy cinematography, shaky rules, and a finale that forgets what it promised. So we do what we do best: call out the misses, celebrate the moments that rip, and map the small rewrites that would turn this into a cult favorite.We start with the visuals: anamorphic flares, exploding bulbs, and Steadicam sweeps that look expensive but rarely build dread. From there, we tackle the lore. What actually kills these wolves? How long does “moonscreen” last? Why does a pack stage a clever trap in one scene, then forget to smell a human under a car the next? Clean rules make scary movies scarier. We even offer a fix for the ending: plant one hesitation beat earlier—have a turned husband falter at his wife’s voice—so the final showdown feels earned instead of random.It’s not all gripes. We shout out the birdbath eye-rinse gag, the alley car-charge, and a soft-focus kitchen reveal that delivers honest chills. We also dig into transformations and why practical effects matter in werewolf cinema, offer a better ammo plan for the beleaguered mom, and unpack how a “dominate the pack” idea could have reshaped the third act. If you love creature features, script logic, or just want to laugh at a billion-wolf apocalypse set in a Florida that isn’t, you’re home.Hit play, then tell us your favorite werewolf movie and the one rule it nails. If you’re new, subscribe for weekly horror rants, rewrites, and the occasional Superman heresy. If you’re a regular, drop a review—it helps other monster nerds find us.Written Lovingly by AIBe our friend!Dan: @shakybaconTony: @tonydczechAnd follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT

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• Hate Watching Superman: An Unpopular Opinion

  Send us a textA Superman movie where the dog makes more choices than the Man of Steel? We dove into James Gunn’s take and found a shiny spectacle that keeps dodging the heart of the character. From a midstream opening to a city-leviathan set piece shot through a fish-eye lens, the film races past the moments that would make us care, then tries to land on a heartfelt message about humanity it doesn’t quite earn.We dig into why the quiet scenes sing—the Pa Kent farm talk and the final reflection—and how they whisper the contours of a better film: one where Superman wrestles with power, responsibility, and the courage to inspire rather than overpower. We also spotlight the true scene-stealer: Mr. Terrific. His competence, dry humor, and clear methods hint at the grounded, team-driven storytelling this world could support. Meanwhile, the Daily Planet ensemble, public-opinion whiplash, and a pocket-universe prison full of glass boxes illustrate how setup after setup goes un-paid-off, sapping stakes and coherence.This episode unpacks the plot mechanics, the character arcs that aren’t, and the choice architecture that should define Superman but rarely shows up here. We question the Justice team’s late pivot, the citywide consequences that never land, and the way recurring gags step on tension. And yes, we talk Crypto: when a superdog becomes the clutch play, the movie’s center has drifted. If you love Superman’s ethos—hope, restraint, and moral clarity under pressure—this breakdown will give you language to explain what’s missing and how it could be fixed.Enjoy the breakdown? Follow, rate, and share the show so more listeners can find it. Drop your rewrite for the third act in the comments—how would you make Superman’s humanity the thing that wins?Written Lovingly by AIBe our friend!Dan: @shakybaconTony: @tonydczechAnd follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT

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• Hate Watching Freddy Vs. Jason: Dumb Fun Done Right

  Send us a textTwo horror titans enter, consistency takes a vacation, and we can’t stop talking about why it still works. We rewind to 2003 and pull apart Freddy vs. Jason from its crisp, newcomer‑friendly recap to the outsized, fire‑lit brawls that the whole campaign was built around. We’re honest about the warts: clunky teen dialogue, jump scares with no crescendo, and lore that forgets its own rules. We’re also here for the highs: Robert Englund having a blast as a razor‑fingered showman, a hulking Jason cutting a path through a cornfield, and a handful of striking images that remind you how potent these icons can be when the camera actually looks.We map the story’s logic (such as it is): Freddy stokes fear by resurrecting Jason, the town buries the past with a hush regime, and our kids try to outthink both monsters with Hypnosil and a road trip to Crystal Lake. Along the way we debate whether crowd kills help or hurt the mood, why mask fit and silhouette matter for menace, and how the movie tosses aside the classic “fight sleep” tension that made Nightmare sing. The dream‑realm pinball fight versus the dockside industrial smackdown gives us two flavors of violence, and that rebar shot, the lake reveal, and the final misdirect all stick the landing with a grin.Is it scary? Not really. Is it dumb fun? Absolutely—and sometimes that’s enough. If you want meticulous rules and slow‑burn dread, go back to the early entries. If you want heavyweight horror branding colliding like action figures in a bonfire, this crossover still swings. Hit play to hear our favorite shots, least favorite logic gaps, and the moments that prove spectacle can carry a movie further than sense ever could.Enjoyed the breakdown? Follow, rate, and share the show with a friend who has strong feelings about Team Freddy or Team Jason. Tell us your winner and your favorite kill shot in the comments!Written lovingly with AIBe our friend!Dan: @shakybaconTony: @tonydczechAnd follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT

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