Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child's adolescence and every stage in betw...
280. Codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns: Creating stronger, healthier romantic partnerships with Alana Carvalho
How does attachment security relate to codependency? The Codependent Perfectionist, Alana Carvalho, is here to explore just that! In this episode we cover: - How does codependency fit into the attachment system? - Does this sound like what you're struggling with in your relationship? We're reviewing some for the most common challenges partners face when one person is more avoidant and the other is more anxious. - Challenging perceptions of what is necessary in a relationship. When we are seeing the world through dysfunctional patterns, we are often unaware of this dysfunction. - The differences between missatunement versus misperception and how understanding this difference can help us get on the same page on both! - A tangible exercise you can do with your partner to help you create a stronger dynamic (and why this works to not kick up a threat response so they’re more able to engage in the conversation more successfully.) Whether you’re struggling with relational patterns or looking to better understand your partner, this episode offers powerful insights and tools for cultivating healthier relationships. LEARN MORE ABOUT ALANA: https://www.alanacarvalho.com/ TAKE THE QUIZ: https://www.alanacarvalho.com/the-codependent-perfectionist-quiz/ READ ALANA'S BOOK: 📚 Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionist’s Guide to Parenting FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @thecodependentperfectionist @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🎧 Listen to Alana's first Securely Attached episode, Recognizing and overcoming codependency in parenthood CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships? 🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan
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279. Q&A: How can I maintain a relationship with my mom who has extremist political views?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... - Breaking down the difference between having differing political view points versus someone having extremist views. - How the health of our relationships with our parents is often intertwined with our relationship with ourselves, our kids, and our entire family system. - How to manage feeling lost, un-seen, and destabilized when a parent shifts to being less of a secure attachment figure. - Does this change in your parent's views and values mean you have to throw out all the things you have learned from them that inform your approach to raising your own kids? - When it’s best to try to compartmentalize things your parent might say, and when it’s necessary to hold firm boundaries. - Learn Dr. Sarah's simple framework for setting and holding effective boundaries. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about setting boundaries with your in-laws 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful realationshisp with Dr. Rick Hanson 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about mindfulness with Diana Winston WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
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278. Music, mindfulness, and play: Using play to strengthen your child's secure attachment bond with Vered Benhorin
Music therapist Vered Benhorin is teaching parents how they can use play and music as powerful tools to strengthen connection, foster attachment, and make parenting feel a little easier. In this episode, we explore: - Why play is so important for emotional regulation, attachment, and connection—and how parents who don’t naturally enjoy play can redefine what it looks like. - What are “Bubble Moments,” and how can parents tap into these times throughout the day to deepen their relationship with their child? - How music impacts the brain, reinforcing neural networks that support routines, emotional regulation, and even executive functioning skills. - The science behind a “sing-song” voice and why it feels so regulating for both you and your child. - How to expand your definition of play to find activities that feel fun and authentic for you as a parent. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your bond with your child, better understand attachment theory, or discover simple ways to use music and play to make parenting more joyful, this episode is packed with insights and practical advice you won’t want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT VERED: https://www.babyintune.com/ READ VERED'S NEW BOOK: 📚 What Do I Do with My Baby All Day?!: Simple Ways to Have the Best First Year Together LISTEN TO VERED'S MUSIC: 🎵 Listen on Spotify ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Download my free guide, Strengthen Your Child's Emotion Regulation Skills Through Play, to help your child learn to calm their brains and bodies. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 How parents can use music as an emotion regulator with Vered Benhorin 🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it, with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 A 10-year-old’s take on starting a new school year, navigating friendships, and what he wants every parent to keep in mind
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277. Q&A: Is “nesting” during a divorce better for your kids?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... - What does it mean to be “nesting” during a divorce? - What types of logistical and emotional factors to consider to help you determine if this is a good choice for your family. - What are the pros and cons of nesting for kids (and for you!) - How to help kids feel secure during a separation, whether you’ve decided to nest with your ex or not. - A script for helping your child understand the difference between love in a parent-child relationship and love in a romantic adult relationship. This distinction can help kids who may be worried that they will get left too. ARE YOU A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL? Go to upshurbren.com/IFSTraining to register for The Good Mom/Bad Mom Loop, a 3-hour workshop on 2/27 designed to teach professionals how to integrate Internal Family Systems concepts into maternal mental health services to provide improved support for moms. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode busting some common misconceptions about divorce with Michelle Dempsey-Multack 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting with a narcissist 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do after you and your partner have a big fight in front of your kids WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
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276. The surprising science of sibling relationships: Why your kids fight and how to foster closeness with Dr. Jonathan Caspi
Sibling relationships are some of the longest-lasting and most influential relationships in our lives, but they’re also filled with complexity. Dr. Jonathan Caspi, a renowned expert on sibling relationships, is breaking down the fascinating science behind sibling dynamics and sharing actionable advice for parents. In this episode we explore: - The surprising science behind why if you give two siblings and two strangers personality tests, the siblings wouldn't be any more similar than the strangers. - The importance of neutrality in parental interventions with siblings and how this can prevent feelings of favoritism and resentment. - Practical strategies for managing sibling conflict: Like what to say in the heat of the moment to support their problem-solving skills, what to focus on (and what to ignore) to build closeness and empathy, and how to know it's time to get involved vs. when to let them work it out themselves, and more! - How to respond if your child struggles when you bring a new baby home with methods that foster closeness and decrease rivalry. - Insider versus outsider status: How parents can unintentionally create sibling rivalry, and what to do instead. - The vital importance of parental regulation and how to stay calm when our “mama bear” instincts are triggered. Whether you’re trying to navigate sibling squabbles, encourage connection, or simply understand the dynamics at play in your own family, this episode is packed with fascinating insights and practical tools you won't want to miss! LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JONATHAN CASPI: https://siblingexpert.com/ READ DR. JONATHAN'S BOOK: 📚 Sibling Aggression: Assessment and Treatment FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @siblingexpert @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: Research Study: Why are siblings so different? CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton 🎧 The science of “mom-rage” and how to use mindfulness as a tool for being less reactive with Diana Winston 🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman 🎧 Getting on the same page as your partner in parenting
Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child's adolescence and every stage in between.
Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship.
And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We’re answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the “rules.”
From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parent—this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust.
About Sarah Bren, PhD
Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.
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