The Mama Circle

This week I’m responding to a Reddit thread titled:
“How the heck are we all okay with this scam?”

The post describes what so many families are living:

• Dual income just to stay afloat
• Hyper-scheduled days
• Childcare costs exploding
• Zero margin
• No real time with your own children

And the question underneath it all:
Is this just what family life is now?

In this episode, I’m not fixing it.
I’m naming it.

We explore:

• Why shrinking your life isn’t a universal solution
• Why “just spend less” misses the point
• The structural pressures shaping modern parenthood
• Why this feels personal, but isn’t

Because when you change the lens from “I’m failing” to “this system wasn’t built for families”, something shifts.

If this episode resonates, start with my free audio guide: The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs — a free audio guide naming the kinds of support modern mothers are missing, and why love alone isn’t enough. 👉🏽 ⁠The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs⁠⁠

🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Want to share your thoughts on this episode? Comment on Spotify or:
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natalie.kmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 ⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠
📢 Don’t forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.

Why does one parent end up carrying the routines, the logistics, the emotional regulation, while the other gets to be the fun one?
In this episode, I’m talking about the dynamic so many families fall into quietly, the default parent and the fun parent. It’s not usually chosen. It forms over time, shaped by outdated structures that no longer fit modern motherhood.
Often, one parent holds the weekday grind. School or nursery logistics, sick days, emotional regulation, planning, remembering, keeping everything moving. The other shows up for the highlights. The outings, the treats, the memories. On the surface, it can look harmless. Even generous. But over time, this imbalance can quietly breed resentment and disconnect.
This episode was shaped by conversations around separation and co-parenting, but it applies just as much to families who are still together. These roles exist inside relationships too, and they often go unnamed until something starts to break.
This is not about blaming individuals. It’s about naming a system that distributes responsibility and joy unevenly, and asking what that does to our experience of motherhood, our relationships, and our connection with our children.
In this episode, we explore:
How default parent and fun parent roles form without discussion

Why responsibility and joy have been unevenly distributed in modern families

How resentment builds quietly, without conflict or drama

Why fairness doesn’t mean 50/50, but it does mean shared access to joy

Why fun shouldn’t be a reward for surviving motherhood

If this resonates, you might also like Episode 2, How do you want your motherhood to feel?
Free resource:
The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs — a free audio guide naming the kinds of support modern mothers are missing, and why love alone isn’t enough. 👉🏽 The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs⁠

🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Want to share your thoughts on this episode? Comment on Spotify or:
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natalie.kmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 ⁠buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin⁠⁠⁠
📢 Don’t forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.

This episode explores why so many mothers feel like they’re parenting without a village, even when they’re surrounded by people who care.
I break down the five different kinds of support mothers actually need, and why expecting them all from the same people creates disappointment, resentment, and exhaustion. When we understand that the village isn’t one thing, it becomes easier to stop blaming ourselves for what’s missing.
You’ll hear about:
Why loneliness in motherhood is often structural, not emotional

The difference between emotional support, practical help, and time

Why the people who love your child aren’t always the ones who can lighten your load

Why collapsing all needs into one place leads to burnout

🎧 Free audio guide:
The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs

🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle⁠⁠⁠⁠

Want to share your thoughts on this episode? Comment on Spotify or:
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natalie.kmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin⁠⁠
📢 Don’t forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.

One year into The Mama Circle Podcast, I’m revisiting one of the most listened-to episodes and checking in with myself.
In episode two, I shared what I wanted my motherhood to feel like. Ease. Fun. Flow. A sense that my child would naturally fit into my life.
A year later, a lot has changed. My son is older. I’m working. My relationship has ended. And my assumptions about how motherhood would feel have been quietly challenged.
In this episode, I reflect on what actually shifted, what surprised me, what felt heavier than expected, and what turned out to be easier than I imagined. I talk about ease as a daily practice, how fun looks different than I thought it would, and why stability now matters more than I realised then.
This isn’t an audit or a how-to. It’s a pause. A noticing. And an invitation to reflect on your own motherhood, not to fix it, but to understand it more clearly.
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle⁠⁠⁠⁠

👉🏽 Reset from chaos to calm in minutes The Overwhelmed to Grounded Toolkit gives you three simple, real-life tools to help you recalibrate without adding more to your to-do list. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Download it here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Want to share your thoughts on this episode? Comment on Spotify or:
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natalie.kmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin⁠⁠
📢 Don’t forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.

Motherhood doesn’t exist in isolation.
Two women can love their children just as deeply, want motherhood just as much, and still have completely different experiences of it.
In this episode, I talk about one of the most overlooked and rarely named factors shaping motherhood: the person you have children with, or raise children with.
This is not about blame, judgement, or “choosing wrong”. It’s about understanding the environment you are mothering inside of, and why motherhood can feel heavier than expected for some women.
We explore:
Why your partner is part of your motherhood ecosystem

Emotional regulation, nervous system load, and co-regulation

Mental load, initiative, and the slow build of resentment

Capacity, illness, trauma, burnout and long-term compensation

Money, financial security, and the hidden costs carried by mothers

Why motherhood looks easier for some mums and not others

🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle⁠⁠⁠⁠

👉🏽 Reset from chaos to calm in minutes The Overwhelmed to Grounded Toolkit gives you three simple, real-life tools to help you recalibrate without adding more to your to-do list. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Download it here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Want to share your thoughts on this episode? Comment on Spotify or:
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natalie.kmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin⁠⁠
📢 Don’t forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.